Funeral for a friend

Today’s service will be presided over by the Reverend Grim.

Dearly Beloved,

We are gathered here today to commit our much maligned Men’s 3rd Team to the ground.

Blessed are the dead who die in the service of Didsbury Northern Hockey Club. They will rest from their labours, for their deeds follow them.

And blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Please be standing for our hymn, Jerusalem:

And did those feet in ancient time
Walk upon Didsbury’s pitches green?
And was the Men’s 3rd Team
On Didsbury’s pleasant pastures seen?
And did the countenance divine
Shine forth upon their collective skills?
And was Jerusalem builded here
Among Grim’s dark satanic mills?

Bring me my bow of burning gold!
Bring me my arrows of desire!
Bring me my spear! O mighty 4s unfold!
Bring me my chariot of fire!
The 4s will not cease from mental fight,
Nor shall their sword sleep in their hand,
Till they have built Jerusalem
And Didsbury’s 4th team rule the land!

Please be seated.

Members of Didsbury Northern Hockey Club lament.
For our Men’s 3rd Team are no more.

No longer shall they drink from shoes at our AGM.
Nor shall they fail to make it to the starter course at the End of Season Do.
For their race has been run.

A painful, but necessary slaying.
Relegation shall trouble them no more.

There now follows a poem, which albeit brief, it is poignant on such a tragic occasion.

If I should die and leave you here awhile,
Be not like others, sore undone, who keep
Long vigils by the silent dust, and weep.
For my sake - turn again to life and smile,
Nerving thy heart and trembling hand to do
Something to comfort other hearts than thine.
Complete those dear unfinished tasks of mine
And I, perchance, may therein comfort you.
(Turn Again To Life - A.Price Hughes & Mary Lee Hall)

Beautiful sentiments… ‘to complete those dear unfinished tasks of mine’ and that is how we must honour them.

I hereby call upon the Men’s 4s to put right the wrongs in the North West Hockey League, for you shall succeed where they could not.

And now, finally we commit the Men’s 3rd Team to their final resting place, for they shall be forever interred beneath Pitch A at the Armitage Centre.

Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Amen.

Be at peace... you are with Jock now. RIP.

FINAL SCORE:
Didsbury Northern Men's 4s 5 - 0 Didsbury Northern Men's 3s

Goals:
Freddie Webster x 1
Paul Atherton x 1
Robin Broom x 1
Grim x 1
Andy Devine x 1

MOM: Matt Paine - imperious rear guard action
Honourable mentions: Ben Wilson (GK) - magnificent performance and flick save, Freddie Webster - was everywhere

Joint DOD: Andy Devine - diving & Tom Evans (Mini) - just because
Honourable mention: Paul Atherton - stealing a goal on the line