RIP Harper D #FakeNews

This is a story, much like the bible, except with llama's, slags, a prodigal son, Harry Potter and the hero of this story Lazarus.

DNHC 4's returned home to Fortress Fallowfield, with a few changes. Mini was at his brother's wedding, with a llama (apparently a slag) and Spence's unavailability gave an opportunity for the hero of our story, Lazarus (Harper D) to rejoin the Mighty 4's, and to play with his kid brother (Harper G, otherwise known as the Prodigal Son).  The crowd (their parents) was excited by the news that their sons were playing in the same match and they wouldn't have to spend 4 hours in the freezing British weather.  

Pre-match there was a sombre mood, with news that on the eve of his birthday, stalwart Andy Crabtree suffered a horrible injury away with the 5s at the hands of ‘VolderMorecambe’ which will leave him with a lightning scar. Grim's sympathy for dropping him was… get a gash to get some gash (editor - he said ladies love a scar).

South Lakes only managed to bring the bare eleven, but Didsbury knew they needed to improve their game after last weeks lackadaisical effort.  It started well with possession being kept, with Dunny making an incisive dribble and winning a short corner, up stepped Grim, a legend in his own mind to fire in a drag flick.... It was like slow motion, no wait it was slow motion, some of the defenders were back from half way before the keeper made the save.  The next 20 minutes were fairly similar possession, missed opportunities and the best player on the pitch ironically with 'Clutz' on his back stopping multiple Didsbury attacks.

The next incident was one of the most memorable in the game.  In a rare foray into the Didsbury half, the South lakes midfielder (a tall skillful quick version of mini) megged Ben and turned around the Didsbury defence. Lazarus used his years of experience, and sizeable posterior to try to prevent the attack, but got it all wrong, and was tragically killed.  After a moments silence the game continued and the Prodigal Son replaced Lazarus while their parents built a pyre on the sideline.  

By half time Didsbury were 2-0 up with Andy having scored a good passed goal and a deflection… 'a good result' as voice by the South Lakes team. Half time was uneventful apart from Ross 'I'll be F'ken angry if we concede a goal.

The second half was more of the same, possession three more goals…2 deflected by Andy and a missed open goal that my mother could have scored (but she has played for New Zealand).  Ross managed one touch in the game when he was trying to step over the ball and a touched it to give away a short corner. 

Didsbury minds for the day were often on their tools rather than the game.  Matt Paine being involved in most, discussing extending the life of your hockey stick by not going to training, and the merits of Ben's warm up shoes.  No-one was paying any attention they were too busy protecting their sports drinks.

With 10 minutes to go there we gasps from the sidelines as Lazarus got off his funeral pyre and rejoined immediately making an important touch.  Who is this man is he the Messiah?

'He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy! RIP Terry Jones.

A 5-0 win and a generous 5/10 grade from the captain.

FINAL SCORE: Formby 1 - 3 Didsbury Northern 5-0 South Lakes

Goals:
Andy Devine x 4
Freddie x 1

MoM: Scottish Andy - a Devine performance

DoD: Harper D - screams of agony before his death
Honourable Mentions: Matt Paine - excuses, excuses