Wonder Boy Returns!

Didsbury 4s arrived at Fortress Armo C with an outrageous 46 points from the 48 available thus far. The lads were in good spirits, although a little frazzled from trying to figure out which week they could potentially be crowned Div 2N champions.

The pre-match team talk was given and as usual nobody listened. The only shocking announcement being that Grim was dropping himself to the bench in favour of Oli's superior goal ratio.

Southport pushed back and for the first 10 minutes of the game made the 4s look pretty average. Unfortunately for them, this came to an abrupt end when Graeme Maradona subbed himself on, and for the second week running used the Foot of God to provide a self-assist and sweep home from close range.

I do not have the words to describe what happened next in this match, and nor will I ever do either, so with regret I’ll skip past it. In summary though, Matty made it 2-0.*

By this point in the game Southport had really fizzled out. Dunny had taken control of midfield, and Peggers98 in the Southport goal was doing his best to get back to retirement with an early sending off.

Another goal followed, probably the best yet everyone agreed. Matty T found Oli at the back post for a tap in and the 4s went into half time 3-0 up.

Grim then gave everyone Haribo Starmix at half time and said some more inspiring things.

The second half began more or less as the first had. Didsbury struggled to get into the game for long periods, but after a while managed to find a fourth goal again through another Oli tap in.

The 4s then sensed a rout and as usual various chances were missed. Most notably an Andy Devine open goal, but there was also an Oli flick into crossbar from roughly 1 yard out, which thankfully nobody seemed to notice.

A fifth and sixth goal came from Captain Grim, taking him to an unbelievable 21 for the season, putting him ahead of the entirety of next weeks opponents Formby 4s.

*Note: the second goal was actually a piece of absolute wizardry, and was possibly the best goal I have seen in my life. I don’t think it’s right that I should be the one to immortalise this moment, but if someone has to butcher it, then it will be my honour to do so. With Southport setting up to defend a DNHC sideline ball from just inside their half, Robin spotted an eager Matty making a blistering run into the D. Catching the oppo by surprise, Robin lifted a 41.5 yard aerial high into the D, and with a swish of his wand Matty made perfect contact with the ball, a double handed reverse overhead chop as the ball arced high over his shoulder, sending it crashing it down into the bottom right corner of the netting. Matty then wheeled away in celebration and everyone else looked shocked and confused as to how it had happened.

FINAL SCORE: Didsbury Northern 6 - 0 Southport

Goals:
Grim x 3
Oli x 2
Matty Taylor x 1

MoM: Matty Taylor - a goal sent to us by the hockey gods...

DoD: Oli - cross bar challenged
Honourable Mention: Matty Taylor - the jammy bastard