It worked for The Arsenal in 1989 so here’s hoping it works for Didsbury Northern 4th Team in 2019/2020. 1 nil to the Didsbury 4s!
In a bit of an enigma, this was one of the toughest games Didsbury have faced and come through positively, and yet the keeper didn’t have a save to make. Must be something to do with the irrepressible defence.
There wasn’t much to write home about in the opening 35minutes as both sides grimly battled it out in a manner befitting of the Euro, Great Britain, North West Region West North West League Division 2 B iii. The main talking point occurred when Southport’s answer to Sepp Blatter destroyed the bin like he destroys a kebab after 10 pints on a Saturday night.
The rest of the half was pretty dull and we went into the break honours even with neither keeper troubled.
The usual nonsense was spouted at half time, even though nobody listens. More important, however, is to note that as Ash has now ingrained himself as a club legend by stepping up to take over the 5s captaincy, the 4s halftime team talks have been bereft of Haribo. This journalist, in particular, is holding out for a Haribo Hero to come to the fore next week.
Whistles were blown and, as the driving rain faded, the Didsbury drives took their place. Good hockey finally showed its face.
Aside from Matt Paine, otherwise impressive at filling the role left by Spence (R.I.P to the girl he used to be) resorting to what he knows best by trying to bring the young girls into play by passing one straight back to them. It later transpired that he was distracted by the sweet smell of Niall’s MILF on the touch line.
The rest of the team started putting some moves together and stringing out the home defence. Short corner after short corner followed.
Grim took more attempts than the Tory’s at striking a Brexit deal but finally got it done and put the away team in the lead.
The home team huffed and puffed but constantly came up again Craig Beckenbauer, who was irresistible throughout and snuffed out any attempts at home attacks like Tyson Fury on a baggie in a nightclub toilet.
Albeit, Southport’s shooting left a lot to be desired; evidently Jonny Driver has been making friends in his new hometown by passing on his best tips...
Victory confirmed and this season things seem to be different, Didsbury showed a backbone for a change and held on where we would have lost before; Matty Taylor didn’t start a fight; and even Paul managed to refrain from hurling profanities at the umpire. Maybe pigs truly do fly afterall...
To top it all off, strong teas and decently priced pints were enjoyed whilst the team celebrated by drooling over the tidy bird announcing football scores on football focus.
Oh, and someone showered themselves with hand wash - we might have won but we didn’t ‘shower’ ourselves in glory. (Sorry, not sorry)
On we go - We are top of the league, say we are top of the league!
MoM: Craig Hopper - towering performance by the big man
DoD: Niall Bancroft - trying to hide his Mum from future step-dad Matt Paine